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5 ways to prevent caregiver stress and burnout

Stress is not a new thing when you are a caregiver. While, it’s not possible for caregivers to completely eliminate stress, but there are ways caregivers can reduce the negative effects on their bodies and mind.

According to the 2015 AARP report on caregiving, “Almost 40 percent of caregivers report feeling highly stressed in their role.”

The Cleveland Clinic defines caregiver burnout as “a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that may be accompanied by a change in attitude — from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned.”

What are the symptoms of caregiver burnout?

  • Disrupted sleep patterns, including insomnia or the feeling of never feeling rested
  • Altered eating patterns, including not being able to eat or overeating; significant weight gain or loss.
  • Increased smoking or a strong desire to start again after having quit.
  • Irritability, anger and sadness.
  • High levels of stress or anxiety.
  • Impatience.
  • The inability to handle your personal life
  • No time for personal care
  • Feeling emotional withdrawal.
  • Feeling trapped and isolated.
  • Thinking of disappearing or running away.
  • Not being able to laugh or feel joy.
  • Feeling hopeless most of the time

Solutions to caregiver burnout?

Have realistic expectations
It’s impossible to eliminate all stress, but you can minimize the effect it has on you. Set realistic goals, accept that you may need help with caregiving, and turn to others for help with some tasks.

Make conscious decisions to continually seek balance in your life.
You don’t always have to say yes to everything. Say “yes” to what you want to say “yes” to, and say “no” to what you want to say “no” to.

Take micro breaks
Anytime you can put that load of stress down will help, even if it’s only for 5 minutes. If that means taking 2 extra minutes in the bathroom to visualize yourself on a beautiful beach or to do some deep breathing, then do it.

Practice stress relieving strategies:

  • Breathing exercises
  • Yoga
  • Massage
  • Meditation

Get support
You need and deserve real breaks on a regular basis. It might sound impossible to get help with caregiving, but it’s possible to put together a team based on the resources available to you. Surround yourself with supportive people and share your feelings and emotions with the group.

Insomnia: How can seniors cope with it?

According to the National Sleep Foundation, 40 million Americans suffer from over 70 different sleep disorders and 60 percent of adults report having sleep problems a few nights a week or more. Clearly, getting adequate sleep is a nationwide problem, and one that is leaving lasting negative effects. Also, experts believe that aging can bring some changes to sleep. For e.g. older adults tend to get sleepy earlier in the evening and tend to sleep less deeply than when they were younger. Insomnia, or the inability to sleep, is not a disease but a sleep disorder. It is characterized by difficulty falling asleep (onset insomnia), difficulty staying asleep (middle insomnia), waking up too early and not returning to sleep, and waking up feeling not refreshed. Insomnia can be characterized by a vicious cycle that feeds into itself.

Symptoms of Insomnia:

  • Taking longer to fall asleep
  • Mood swings
  • Depressed
  • Feeling drowsy and exhausted
  • Accidents due to lack of sleep
  • Impaired memory

Common causes of Insomnia:

  • Poor sleeping habit
  • Irregular sleep schedule
  • Stress or anxiety
  • Depression
  • Movement and Sleep Disorders, such as Restless leg syndrome, periodic limb movement disorder, snoring and sleep apnea
  • Neurodegenerative Disorders such as, Dementia, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s
  • Urinary problems

How can seniors cope with Insomnia?

Here are proven, practical application tips for seniors to help them cope with sleep insomnia:

  • Restrict the amount of time you spend in your bed to only time actually sleeping. Refrain from laying in your bed to read or rest signaling the brain mixed directions. Your bed should be restricted to a place of sleeping only.
  • Increase the amount of exercise per day- even if it means walking in the house
  • Create a sleep environment in the room that is dark, quiet and safe
  • Look for ways that can help you relax before bedtime, such as a hot bath or calming music
  • Maintain a strict sleep schedule -While it is recommended that you do not go to sleep at a set time, but rather when you are feeling sleepy- you should maintain a strict sleeping schedule when it comes to waking up. Be sure to wake up each morning at the same time regardless of the amount of sleep you received.

 

How to Help the Elderly Cope with the Holiday Blues

The holiday season is right around the corner. For most of us, this is a happy time of bonding with friends and family. The holidays, however, can be a time of sadness for seniors. Additionally, health problems and physical limitations can intensify feelings of loneliness and isolation. Therefore, if you are a caregiver or family member of an elderly person, you may observe a change in his or her mood and behavior during the holidays. Memories of happier times resurface – times when the person was young, active, and had friends and family who were still alive. For some elderly persons, the holidays bring a painful reminder of what has been lost, of what once was. Below are some quick and easy tips to help the elderly fight the holiday blues:

  1. Plan ahead. Prepare an agenda of activities for the holidays. If you’re a caregiver, consult with the family members on ways to get them involved. If you’re a family member, plan something special and include other family members if possible. It could be as simple as making holiday cookies or inviting friends over. It is important to engage elderly people during the holiday season. Participating in activities can lift one’s mood and serve as a healthy distraction from depressogenic thoughts.If the elderly person is vulnerable to over-stimulation, limit the number of activities and noise because it can lead to irritability and confusion. Plan ahead of time to designate a person to give some companionship to the individual. Having some company during the holiday blues can be therapeutic.
  2. Validate the individual’s loss (e.g., of abilities, of independence, of loved ones, etc.) but also focus on the positives. Validating one’s loss and emotions demonstrates genuine concern and empathy. The conversation can be about honoring those who have passed or mourning the loss of abilities possessed in earlier times. Assist the individual in finding ways to remember the good times experienced with loved ones. The holiday season provides an opportunity for reminiscing and great storytelling.
  3. Communicate. If you notice that an elderly person seems down, don’t hesitate to communicate and ask how he or she is feeling. If the person is reluctant to communicate or displays irritability, distress, or fatigue, seek consultation from a medical or mental health professional. Don’t assume anything.
  4. Take the focus off of gift-giving. A lot of seniors are on fixed incomes; therefore, gift-giving can cause anxiety and stress if this is expected of them. Focus on memories instead. For example, family members can write letters of gratitude for each other or share sentimental holiday notes.
  5. Provide personal care. Whether it’s helping someone get a haircut or taking someone out on a walk, focus on giving the elderly the care and attention they deserve. Everyone is different, of course, so be creative and find ways to cheer them up.

5 Ways to Better Cope with Stress

cope with stressToday, chronic stress- stress that interferes with your ability to function normally over an extended period- is becoming a public health crisis, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). (1) Caused by a variety of triggers such as money, work, the economy, job stability, personal health, and even family responsibilities, stress is wreaking havoc in the lives of most Americans these days. But what can we do to better cope?

According to the Centers for Disease control, “The best ways to manage stress in hard times are through self-care.” (2) To help you better understand exactly what I mean by “self-care” here are 5 ways to better cope with stress in your personal life today.

  • Find support. Weather from a partner, friend, counselor, doctor, or close family member finding the support you need is critical to coping with stress in a healthy way. Choose someone who is willing to listen to you without judgement, offering constructive advice when needed.
  • Stay connected. When times of high stress arise it’s far too easy to isolate yourself socially but isolation is not the answer. Instead choose to spend those times with a group of close loved ones you can find support in.
  • Say “No” to drugs and alcohol. While both drugs and alcohol are popular coping mechanisms for a number of problems as a quick, temporary fix they tend to create a snowball of problems in the long term. Simply say, “No.”
  • Get active. A 2015 study comparing stress and exercise found that one year of physical exercise intervention improved mental well-being among working adults. (3) To better cope with stress, get active through exercise. Join a gym, take a jog, become part of a favorite team-sport. How you choose to be active is not important, simply being active is.
  • Eat healthy. You know what they say, “We are what we eat.” By striving to eat a healthy, well-balanced diet you can prepare your body to better cope with stress naturally. Choose foods high in protein and low in sugars and carbs along with lots of healthy fruits, vegetables, and nuts.

And as a bonus…

  • Take a break. Far too many people are constantly going with the petal pressed to the floor, speeding through life. Sometimes the best way to deal with an overabundance of stress is by taking a break. This means a vacation, time off from work, or maybe just a night to yourself. Don’t be afraid to allow yourself a break every now and then. It’s good for you!

With stress impacting so many Americans today in ways that make life far more difficult to live, it’s time to fight back. Whether it’s money, work, the economy, job stability, personal health, family responsibilities, or something else learning how to best cope with stress can make all the difference. By finding support, staying connected, refraining from both drugs and alcohol, eating healthy, and of course- allowing yourself to take a break when needed you can not only change the way you respond to stress, but also decrease the amount of stress you experience. And who doesn’t want less stress?

Mark D. Parisi, Psy.D. & Associates, P.C. provides counseling, psychological testing, and psychotropic medication management in Mount Prospect and Chicago – serving surrounding Cook, Lake, DuPage, and Will Counties. They accept most insurance and offer extremely affordable sliding scale rates. Call (847) 909-9858 for a free, no-obligation telephone consultation.

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Sources:

  1. Stressed in America, Chronic stress crisis, 2011, http://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/01/stressed-america.aspx
  2. Managing Stress, Self-care for stress quote, 2012, http://www.cdc.gov/features/handlingstress/
  3. A 12-Month Exercise Intervention Decreased Stress Symptoms and Increased Mental Resources Among Working Adults, Get active study, 2015, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26159956

Can You Fake Mental Illness?

While you may be thinking, “Why would anyone want to fake a mental illness,” you may be surprised to learn that while mental illnesses have their obvious negatives, they also offer a handful of positives. Some of which are even believed to be worth faking it for.

mental illnessWe see hideous crimes committed regularly in society. There is almost always something horrific in the news that you would think, “Clearly that person must be insane to commit such a horrible crime against humanity.” And so, we watch as they choose to plea insanity. Now, the significance of proving insanity in the court room is that if you are deemed insane you are no longer eligible for the death penalty and cannot be held responsible for your actions in the same way a sane person would be, according to the U.S. Criminal Resource Manual. (1) An obvious draw for completely sane people to want to fake a mental illness, right?

You certainly don’t have to commit a horrible crime against humanity to consider the idea of faking a mental illness. Average people, leading average lives attempt to fake mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety often. Again, you may be asking yourself, “Why?” People with mental illnesses, similar to physical illnesses, receive attention. People want to hear about your struggle and help you cope or even help you overcome your mental illness. People who strongly desire attention may seek it through faking sick, mentally. But is it possible?

According to the Queensland government, “It is extremely difficult to ‘fake’ mental illness, particularly for an extended period of time.” (2) While someone may be able to imitate depression-like or insanity-like symptoms for a short period of time, eventually ones’ true colors will begin to show. In addition, a series of tests have been specifically put in place to weed out any potential fakers when it comes to pleading insanity within the court room.

It is important to note that while people who attempt to fake a mental illness for whatever benefit entices them often has an underlying root cause. They may have a great need for attention from others or enjoy lying and fooling people. Or they simply want an escape from the responsibility of the crimes they commit. Whatever the case may be, it’s important for us to look beyond the failed attempt to deceive.

From the court room to the dinner table and everywhere in-between, you may witness someone who attempts to fake a mental illness. Whether it be insanity, depression, anxiety, or another form of mental illness, there are a variety of benefits that comes with faking it. But don’t be alarmed. Faking a mental illness is extremely difficult, especially for an extended period of time. It turns out, you can’t fake it!

Mark D. Parisi, Psy.D. & Associates, P.C. provides counseling, psychological testing, and psychotropic medication management in Mount Prospect and Chicago – serving surrounding Cook, Lake, DuPage, and Will Counties. They accept most insurance and offer extremely affordable sliding scale rates. Call (847) 909-9858 for a free, no-obligation telephone consultation

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Sources:

  1. Criminal Resource Manual, Perks of pleading insanity, 2015, http://www.justice.gov/usam/criminal-resource-manual-634-insanity-defense-reform-act-1984
  2. Frequently Asked Questions about Mental Illness, Difficult to fake mental illness quote, 2006, https://www.health.qld.gov.au/forensicmentalhealth/indigenous/docs/ind_fs1.pdf

Will Consistency Help Treat Bipolar Disorder?

consistencyIt is common for people to have emotional highs and lows caused by everyday stress.  However, there are some people who suffer from a severe mental illness known as bipolar disorder in which sudden shifts in mood and energy may be seen on a regular basis (1).  These mood swings can negatively affect a person’s home life as well as his career if they are not controlled as well as possible.  However, as with most mental illnesses, having a consistent routine can ease the symptoms and make the disorder easier to handle.  There are 3 areas of consistency that should be met.

1. Be consistent in your treatment. There are many treatments that can be used for bipolar disorder.  Some people are capable of coping with it on their own while others may need the help of a therapist or need to take medication to provide a balance (1).  No matter which one you choose, however, it is important to be consistent in your treatment.

For example, once you find a good therapist, stick with him so that you become comfortable talking to him.  Once you find a medicinal regimen that is providing relief, continue taking the same type and amount; switching medicines can also mean suffering from different side effects.  Constantly looking for new doctors or trying new medicines is going to cause even more stress for a person with bipolar disorder.

2. Be consistent in your daily routine. A person who knows what to expect on a daily basis will be able to cope better with bipolar disorder, according to the American Psychological Association. (2).  A daily and weekly routine should consist of schedules for many things, such as work, school, errands, exercise, sleep, relaxation, etc.

For example, try to eat each meal and snack around the same time each day, and choose your foods wisely to keep your body and mind regulated.  Even if that means taking a break at work to replenish your body, it is important to stay consistent.  As part of your routine, you can even do your best to control how much time is spent with certain people.  Having a routine of daily activities will prevent unexpected circumstances, which can easily trigger a reaction in someone with bipolar disorder.

3. Be consistent in your sleep. Getting enough sleep has been shown to provide relief from many physical and mental ailments, and the same is true with bipolar disorder.  Sleep deprivation can increase the effects of bipolar disease in many ways.

First, the overall quality of life is lessened, which can cause more depression and stress.  Second, sleep deprivation can increase the chances of a relapse in a person who has the disorder under control.  Third, cognitive functions are greatly affected by a person’s sleep habits, and this is especially true in those that suffer from a mental illness.  If you are having trouble getting enough sleep, you can make adjustments to your diet and physical activity and see if that helps (3).

Routines and consistency are beneficial to everyone, but this is particularly true for those with bipolar disorder.  If you are struggling to control your symptoms, sticking to a routine may be just what you need.

Mark D. Parisi, Psy.D. & Associates, P.C. provides counseling, psychological testing, and psychotropic medication management in Mount Prospect and Chicago – serving surrounding Cook, Lake, DuPage, and Will Counties. They accept most insurance and offer extremely affordable sliding scale rates. Call (847) 909-9858 for a free, no-obligation telephone consultation.

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Sources:
1. What is Bipolar Disorder? Definition and treatments, 2015, http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml
2. Consistent Routines May Ease Bipolar Disorder, Importance of daily routines, 2008, http://www.apa.org/monitor/feb08/consistent.aspx
3. Sleep Disturbance in Bipolar Disorder, Importance of sleep, 2009, http://www.apa.org/monitor/feb08/consistent.aspx

When Anger is a Positive

There are many misconceptions about the emotion of anger. One of those misconceptions is that anger is a negative thing and that being happy is its opposite. Another misconception is that, when people become angry, violence will most likely ensue. While these thoughts are sometimes true, they are also missing the other aspect of anger – the positive side.anger management

There is a way to display anger in a proper manner that is actually helpful rather than hurtful. While constructive anger has no exact definition since it varies from one situation to another, there are some common elements (1).

  • Constructive anger is controlled. Instead of immediately expressing anger when first instigated, take time to think about the situation and determine whether your anger is appropriate (2). Thinking about your response first will help you avoid destructive anger.
  • Constructive anger is justified. Do you actually have a reason to be as angry as you feel, or could you be overreacting to the situation? Did you do anything that could have contributed to the problem? Is the level of anger you feel proportional to the situation? Considering these questions will help you avoid regretting your anger later.
  • Constructive anger is shared (3). If you are expressing your anger and the object of your anger isn’t even present, you are wasting your breath and most likely just working yourself up. If you have a legitimate reason to be angry, it should be discussed face to face with the person. In addition, the other person should be given a chance to explain, share his perspective, and eventually apologize without being attacked further.

anger managementNot only can constructive anger help an immediate relationship or situation, it can have positive effects on the future as well. Studies have shown the repressed anger is more likely to result in violence than immediately expressed anger (3). The following are a few of the positive aspects of anger.

  • Resolves. Constructive anger results in a situation being resolved, which in turn strengthens the relationship rather than hurting it.
  • Motivates. Anger is an excellent motivator. If you feel wronged about something, it can motivate you to do something about it. This can work to your advantage in the workplace, politics, health and fitness, etc. (1)
  • Helps. Constructive anger can help you learn something about yourself and the other party that you may have never known before. It has been said that, in conflict, you will see a person’s true colors. This is true for others as well as yourself. In a relationship, learning these intimate details about each other can bring you even closer together (3).

Although anger can be difficult to control, especially for people who have long-term anger issues, anger can be used constructively to benefit you and your relationships rather than harm them.

Mark D. Parisi, Psy.D. & Associates, P.C. provides counseling, psychological testing, and psychotropic medication management in Mount Prospect and Chicago – serving surrounding Cook, Lake, DuPage, and Will Counties. They accept most insurance and offer extremely affordable sliding scale rates. Call (847) 909-9858 for a free, no-obligation telephone consultation.

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Sources:

  1. When Anger’s a Plus, Aspects of constructive anger, 2003, http://www.apa.org/monitor/mar03/whenanger.aspx
  2. Anger – How It Affects People, Characteristics of constructive anger, 2014, http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcarticles.nsf/pages/Anger_how_it_affects_people
  3. The Upside of Anger, Benefits of constructive anger, 2015, http://www.spring.org.uk/2012/03/the-upside-of-anger-6-psychological-benefits-of-getting-mad.php

3 Ways to Help Prevent Depression in School Age Children

Counseling for child depressionWhile many of us are familiar with ways to both control and cope with depression symptoms, you may be surprised to learn that research findings show we may also be able to help prevent them. According to the American Psychological Association (APA) psychologists Jane Gillham, Lisa Jaycox, Karen Reivich, and Martin Seligman all set out to prove just that (1).

The APA continues to state that through their school based prevention program the team of psychologists were able to reduce the number of depressive symptoms and improve overall classroom behavior in participating young people (2). It’s time for parents, teachers, and caregivers alike to turn their attention from controlling to preventing depression in school age children.

To better equip you, here are 3 ways to help prevent depression in the school age children closest to you.

1. Encourage strong, caring relationships early on.
When it comes to preventing depression in children, providing a valuable foundation consisting of strong, caring relationships with parents, teachers, relatives, and even community early on is key. According to a 2014 Delphi Consensus study, “The family setting, particularly parents, is a strategic target for preventive interventions for youth depression and anxiety disorders.” (3)

Help to prevent adolescent depression by simply encouraging strong, caring relationships from the start.

2. Leaving space for living life.
Far too often, caregivers opt to become helicopter parents, or simply parents who hover over their child’s every move, in hopes of protecting children not only from scrapes and bruises but also depression. Unfortunately, helicoptering is not the answer. Instead, leave space to allow them to live life through trial and error. Allow them to make mistakes, learn new things, chase after dreams, and yes, even get a few scrapes and bruises along the way.

Allowing them to experiment teaches them how to maneuver through both triumph and failure in a healthy way.

3. Establish open and honest communication.
Promoting communication that is both open and honest within your home, classroom, or other area of inhabitance is a proactive way to help prevent the development of depression. By doing so you can create an atmosphere where children feel comfortable both sharing and exploring the link between thoughts and feelings just as participants in The Penn Resiliency Project, the school based program developed by psychologists to prevent depression, did. (4)

With depression on the rise it only makes sense that parents, teachers, and caregivers alike would want to turn those increasing frowns upside down. Luckily, the prevention of depression in school age children is hopeful. You can do your part by simply encouraging strong caring, relationships, leaving space to live, and establishing open and honest communication. Together we can help transform depression one smile at a time.

Mark D. Parisi, Psy.D. & Associates, P.C. provides counseling, psychological testing, and psychotropic medication management in Mount Prospect and Chicago – serving surrounding Cook, Lake, DuPage, and Will Counties. They accept most insurance and offer extremely affordable sliding scale rates. Call (847) 909-9858 for a free, no-obligation telephone consultation.

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Sources:
1. School-Based Program Teaches Skills That Stave Off Depression, School-Based program findings, 2003, http://www.apa.org/research/action/school.aspx
2. School-Based Program Teaches Skills That Stave Off Depression, School-Based program findings, 2003, http://www.apa.org/research/action/school.aspx
3. Parenting strategies for reducing the risk of adolescent depression and anxiety disorders: a Delphi consensus study, Strong relationships quote, 2014 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24359862

Expectation vs. Performance

performanceThe Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the term “expectation” as “a belief that something will happen or is likely to happen”; It defines “performance” as “the fulfillment of a claim, promise, or request; something accomplished.” We have expectations in every aspect of life: for our kids, our marriages, our careers. In some areas, we set our own expectations; in others, they are set for us.

Our performance shows whether or not we fulfilled those expectations. For example, if you are asked to write a report by a specific deadline, you will be expected to fulfill this. The level of your performance may be determined by the quality of the report as well as your timeliness and accuracy. In general, if we meet all of the expectations we create for ourselves or are given, we might consider ourselves “successful.”

Expectation Mindset

expectationsThe expectations that you set for yourself and your life can be determined by your overall attitude. If you are an optimistic person, you will most likely have high expectations regarding the outcome of your life, career, and family. You imagine everyone at his best. If you are a pessimist, you might have low expectations or have doubts that you can fulfill expectations in those areas, reasoning that you will be pleasantly surprised if it turns out better than expected but prepared if it does not. These views are not necessarily wrong or right, just different.

Expectation Level

  1. High Expectations. Setting high expectations for yourself or for others can provide great motivation to perform. In sports, if a coach puts great trust in you and expects you to be a team leader, you will be very motivated to prove to him that you are capable of doing so. At work, setting high expectations makes you work harder to achieve that goal. However, setting your sights too high can be detrimental to your success. If the bar is set too high and you are not able to reach it, you may feel disappointment or inadequacy. You might feel embarrassed if you do not perform the way that you were expected to.
  2. Low Expectations. If your expectations are too low, the performance might be too easy. If there is no challenge, then there may be nothing to work for. Instead of having a drive to succeed, you may get comfortable in your position and reach a plateau.
  3. Realistic Expectations. Set expectations for yourself and others that you know will be motivational and require hard work but that will also be achievable. This will give you something to work for and then provide great satisfaction when you accomplish it.

Expectation Failure

We have all failed at something or fallen short of the expectations. Instead of letting this get you down or giving up, use it as motivation to improve or change what is needed to perform the way you are expected to.

Whether your performance succeeds your expectations or not, it’s important to keep in mind success is reached through trial and error. In all aspects of your performance, try-try-again!

Mark D. Parisi, Psy.D. & Associates, P.C. provides counseling, psychological testing, and psychotropic medication management in Mount Prospect and Chicago – serving surrounding Cook, Lake, DuPage, and Will Counties. They accept most insurance and offer extremely affordable sliding scale rates. Call (847) 909-9858 for a free, no-obligation telephone consultation.

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Sources:

  1. Expectation, Definition, 2015, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/expectation
  2. Performance, Definition, 2015, http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/performance
  3. High Hopes and Happy Homes, Mindset of Expectations, 2004, http://www.apa.org/monitor/sep04/highhopes.aspx

Newly Single? How to Cope.

Single CounselingThe majority of people have experienced at least one break up. In fact, a study in 2011 showed that 37% of people ages 18 to 35 had been through at least one break up in the past 20 months (1). Regardless of the circumstances or the length and seriousness of the relationship, breaking up is hard to do. The mental and social side effects can sometimes be devastating. What can you do to make it easier on yourself?

Emotional

After a break-up, you will most likely be swarmed with emotions – anger, resentment, depression, heart-break, etc. These emotions need to be addressed, not repressed. When trying to get your feelings out, make sure it is done in a productive way. Yelling and venting to a friend is not going to be very beneficial. Instead, many experts suggest writing as a means of therapy (2). When you write, you take time to form your thoughts instead of thinking and speaking irrationally. Writing also gives you the chance to go back and analyze your feelings and to see how far you have come from where you were immediately after the break up.

Another way to cope with these feelings is to stay active. Not only is physical activity beneficial to the mind and body, staying active will keep you busy, which means you will have less time to dwell on the break up. Another helpful idea is to find someone to confide in. But don’t pick just anyone – make sure it is something that you trust to give you sound advice and comfort.

Socially

Depending on where you met your significant other, the social aspect may be a problem. You may have mutual friends, making it difficult and tense to be around those friends. You may work with him, making work more stressful and awkward. However, this problem may give you a chance to branch out; meeting new people and trying new things may be just what you need.

Personally

Because relationships can give a person meaning and purpose, a break up might cause you to feel less satisfied with your life. Discontentment can lead to bitterness and will not have any positive outcome, so do your best to avoid it. A person’s reaction to a break up can greatly affect the future. Those who have a positive outlook and desire to look for someone new are less likely to be affected by depression and low self-esteem. Remember also that a break up can actually benefit you in many ways. Being newly single gives you a chance to re-evaluate your life and what is important, and it can help you find your identity as an individual. Finding the positives in a break up can make your future relationships even stronger.

No matter how you deal with a break up, there is one essential: do not let your break up define you.

Mark D. Parisi, Psy.D. & Associates, P.C. provides counseling, psychological testing, and psychotropic medication management in Mount Prospect and Chicago – serving surrounding Cook, Lake, DuPage, and Will Counties. They accept most insurance and offer extremely affordable sliding scale rates. Call (847) 909-9858 for a free, no-obligation telephone consultation.

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Sources:

  1. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, Statistics and effects of a break up, 2011, http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21517174
  2. Break Ups Aren’t All Bad, Ways to cope, 2009, http://www.apa.org/research/action/romantic-relationships.aspx

 

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