You have been together for what seems like forever and you live in routine and predictability. Marriage and family therapist in Chicago, Dr. Parisi offers 5 ways to spark a crush on your spouse.
Team challenge. Part of the thrill of a new relationship is getting to know one another, but when you are to the point you have been together and known each other so long, you feel you know each other as well as know yourself, it is time to shake things up a bit. Your counselor in Chicago recommends that you take on a new challenge together. Train for a race, enter a competition, join a bowling league. Find something that neither of you have ever done and take on the new challenge. Working together to overcome adversity, even if it isn’t real-life adversity, helps add novelty and satisfaction to your relationship, bringing the two of you even closer together. It also gives you something new to talk about.
Take a break. Some marriage and family therapists think the best way to respark the flame is to have people spend some time apart. Take separate vacations. Do something on your own that interests you. When you invest if yourself, your significant other usually finds that independence and appeal that they have been overlooking. Remember, distance can make the heart grow fonder.
Try on someone else’s shoes. Ever wonder how rest of the world views your spouse? Find an opportunity to hear what others think of the amazing job your spouse does at work. Or how friendly she is when she checks out at the store. Sometimes hearing about the wonderful things you take for granted can make you realize how amazing your partner is to everyone else and how lucky you really are. A Chicago counselor would describe to you how someone else would describe your spouse. Make sure you are still looking at him or her that way too!
Step out of your comfort zone. If routine is boring you, mix it up. Do something that you would never do. Throw a curve ball to partner and drag them along for the ride. This can range from a hot air balloon ride to taking a ride after dinner (instead of sitting on the couch) and seeing what is happening in your community.
Take care of yourself. Yes, your partner has seen you at your worst. But that doesn’t mean you have to put that out there every day. Remember how you used to get dressed up for just the chance of running in to that special someone? Break out the good cologne and flirt a little.
Don’t settle. Whatever you do, don’t quit trying. Your amazing relationship is worth it. It doesn’t have to be a huge production every week (because really who can hire a sky writer), but put in a little more effort. A little more time to be together. A little affection to show your companion that they are more than a roommate after all these years. Keep making the effort because you relationship is worth it. Besides, that willingness not to settle, well that is pretty attractive.