Hit a bit of a rocky patch? No worries, Dr. Paris, your affordable Chicago marriage and family counselor has tips to help put you back on track this weekend.
It is important to remember that all relationships will hit a rough spot. Healthy relationships are based on a good foundation. Every relationship will have trying times, but as long as there is a good base to the relationship, you always have something to fall back on.
Taking a weekend to focus only on your relationship can give it the spark you need to remember how special it is.
Conflict is normal. As an affordable therapist who talks to many, many couples, I am telling you that you are not alone. All couples have conflicts over different things. Don’t stress that you are not seeing eye to eye every so often. Whether it is a difference of opinion about money, chores, or sex, the issue usually can be resolved using some communication techniques to discuss it with your partner.
Talk in first person. When you are talking to your partner about something that is bothering you, make sure you say, “I feel…” or “I do…” Don’t start digging in on what your partner does or doesn’t do. Focus on how the issue makes you feel and portray that to your partner instead of pointing out flaws.
Talk. Talk. Talk. Make sure you plan time (other than just this weekend) to focus on your lives as a couple. Take 20 minutes a day to spend together just talking, perhaps over a glass of wine. If there has been some distance between you, use this time to get reacquainted with one another.
Don’t play the blame game. This is a huge down fall for many couples. If they can blame the problem on someone, then they don’t work to fix it. You have to remember that you are in this relationship together, and you both must work to find solutions that fit with both of you.
Take this weekend to really focus on your relationship. Discuss any problems and reminisce about the good things that draw you to one another. Remember, relationships are not 50-50. Your partner deserves 100% of you. Healthy relationships are 100%, 100% of the time. You must both put all you have in to the relationship to get back positive results.
If you find that you are caught in a pattern of behaviors that you cannot find a way to fix and need more help, contact Dr. Parisi for marriage and family counseling. We have locations in Chicago and the surrounding area (Des Plaines, Arlington Heights, Schaumburg, Barrington, Hinsdale, Skokie, Lincolnwood, Park Ridge, and Wilmette) to help.