Reduce the Lies Your Teen is Telling You

Posted on by Dr. Mark Parisi

Oh the teenage years. There is nothing harder than trying to make sure you are raising a good teen and feeling like you are constantly being lied to. All teens lie. Teens typically lie to their parents about drug and alcohol use, where they are going, who and whether they are dating, who they are with, money, and their friends. Lying becomes a serious issue when the lies are consistent and more than a little white lie to avoid hurting someone.

Here are some suggestions from Dr. Parisi, a low cost psychiatrist in Chicago.

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  1. Build a sincere connection with your teen. Being able to have a real conversation with your teen can be hard, but open communication is one of the best ways to keep your teen talking to you. Remember what teenagers do and think about. You are going to have to be able to handle some uncomfortable topics in order to be a reliable source for your teen. Be prepared to talk about anything…and you may not like what they are going to say, but you have to react rationally or your teen will not continue to talk to you.
  2. Model the truth. If you aren’t willing to be honest with your teen, they are likely to return the favor. This starts when they are young and can be little things you don’t likely think about. How often are you telling them everything is fine, when you really are stressed or worried about something at work. Children develop a baseline of acceptable lies or half-truths by watching how your react to situations in your life.
  3. Do not be an angry interrogator. Having moments you teen angers you is an avoidable part of parenting. But don’t use these moments to drill them with questions. You aren’t going to get any real answers. Make sure you are calm and really ready to talk with them if you want them to be honest with you. Remember to be prepared for answers you don’t likely want if you get them telling you the truth. Your reaction is important.
  4. Deal with lying as a separate issue. No matter what your child was lying to cover up, there are two separate issues. What he or she did and the lying about it. Make sure the lie is addressed as a problem of its own.
  5. Make your kids think. Putting responsibility on them is hard. As parents, we want to make everything easy in life for them.  Sometimes when teens have to accept responsibility it is the best way for them to learn the true lesson.

Raising kids is hard work. You have to set the boundaries and let your teen test them. This is how children learn to fail. Sometimes it is best they learn the hard way so they can succeed later.

If lying is consistently a problem with your teen, you need to seek mental health services in Chicago for your teen. Our affordable psychologist can help.

Keep Back to School Cool for Your Child With Anxiety

Posted on by Dr. Mark Parisi

It is coming, faster ever year (or so it seems). It is back to school time again. For some (parents mostly), this is a great and exciting time of the year—A great fresh start. For the students, it is the end of something epic. For students with anxiety, this time of the year is especially stressful.

If your child is one of those students, we have a few tips for you:

  1. Dr. Parisi | affordable psychologistSet a schedule and stick to it. Children who suffer from anxiety can better anticipate and know what to expect if things are organized. Make sure there schedule is predictability, structured, and follow a routine. This will make transitions easier.
  2. Schedule a visit. See if it is possible to schedule a trip to the school. Let you child walk around, meet the teacher, and get more comfortable with the environment before there is a crowd.
  3. Make health a priority. Use a healthy diet full of protein and limited sugar to help your child feel his or her best. Make sure sleep is a priority. Have some time to calm before bed and make sure you stick to bedtime.
  4. Be comfortable. Make school as fun and special as possible. If it is a favorite outfit, an old sweatshirt, or a lucky backpack charm, find something that is a comfort to your child and helps them feel connected to you.
  5. Talk. Make sure you child feels comfortable and discuss the issues or scenarios that make your child most uncomfortable. This will give you and your child a chance to walk through a situation and how to deal with it before it happens.
  6. Consider behavioral therapy. Back to school is a hard time for children with anxiety, but if after a couple weeks your child isn’t settling in or you are seeing increased issues, inform specialists at school and contact an affordable psychologist or psychiatrist for further counseling.

If you need more help in the Chicago and surrounding areas including Des Plaines, Arlington Heights, Schaumburg, Barrington, Hinsdale, Skokie, Lincolnwood, Park Ridge, and Wilmette, Dr. Parisi is an affordable psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in Childhood Attachment Studies and Intervention (Marshak Evaluations)and Biofeedback Training for Stress / Anxiety Reduction

What is ADHD?

Posted on by Dr Mark Parisi

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD as it is commonly called, is a disruptive behavior disorder that is characterized by a chronic pattern of inattention, hyperactivity, and poor impulse control or a combination of the three that affects how children, adolescents, or adults function in their day-to-day life.  ADHD is, technically, a childhood disorder and, if diagnosed in an adult, must have been evident during childhood.  Recent, emerging research from the National Institute of Mental Health suggests that ADHD has a strong genetic link – that is, often runs in families – and is about three times more prevalent among boys verus girls.

Once referred to as Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD, the disorder was renamed in 1994 to ADHD where it was broken down into three subtypes. The three types of ADHD are predominantly inattentive type, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive type, and the combined type.

The predominantly inattentive type is when an individual finds it difficult pay attention to details and difficulty with following instructions or conversations. The person is easily distracted, makes careless errors, has problems with organization, forgets details of daily routines, and has a tendency to lose things.  The hyperactive-impulsive type is characterized by fidgety behavior, difficulty sitting still, excessive energy levels, poor decision-making, and a tendency to act before thinking.  An individual with the combined type of ADHD may display elements of multiple elements described above.

Treatment for ADHD depends on the unique constellation of symptoms displayed by the individual.  Treatment options are also guided by the severity of the ADHD symptoms.  Often times, prescription stimulant medication can prove invaluable in controlling the symptoms of moderate to severe ADHD.  However, in more mild forms of ADHD, changes to daily routine, the classroom environment, and behavior modification training can produce lasting results.  Cognitive Training involving computer-assisted training of attentional skills, sequencing ability, and short-term auditory and visual memory can also prove helpful in improving the symptoms of mild to moderate ADHD.  Often times, a combination approach which involves a combination of medication management, behavior modification, school-based accommodation, and Cognitive Training is the most helpful way to manage ADHD.

Childhood Attachment and Bonding

Posted on by Dr Mark Parisi

During the first year of life, children form strong bonds with their parents and caregivers. You might not think that children are aware of much during that first year, but in reality they are forming very important bonds with people around them. These bonds will lead to an attachment style being adopted by the child; and, each child’s individual attachment style will depend on the types of interaction he or she has with his or her caregivers.

There are four main types of Childhood attachment styles: secure attachment, anxious-resistant insecure attachment, anxious avoidant insecure attachment, and disorganized attachment.

Children who are happy and healthy will typically display secure attachment.  These children understand that their parents will return to them, and they probably don’t cry or fuss a lot when their parents are separated from them, as they are secure in the knowledge that they will come back. To help keep your child secure, snuggle with them, be calm around them, and be consistent with your bonding.  Insecure children consist of those with anxious avoidant, anxious-resistant and disorganized insecure attachment. These children are often frightened, crying when their parents leave their side, but also seeming wholly unconcerned when their parents return. These children are anxious, unsure of what will happen next, so they waffle between wanting parental attention and shunning it.

Children with insecure attachment styles have often witnessed or endured abuse, inconsistent bonding, or live in an environment that is filled with stress.  Avoid this scenario by providing your child with a calm environment, plenty of love, and a lot of positive interaction. Children who are secure in their attachments are often happier and healthier throughout life, forming stronger, more psychologically-balanced relationships.

If you suspect that your child is not bonding properly, or you would like to form better bonds with your child, please seek the advice of a licensed therapist.