What is Solution-Focused Couples Therapy?

Posted on by Dr Mark Parisi

Often times, couples seek professional counseling help far too late after having experienced years of tension and built-up resentment.  In order to avoid becoming a statistic in the nation’s soaring divorce rate, it is important to select a mental health professional who practices Solution-Focused Couples Counseling.

Solution-Focused Couples Counseling, as the name implies, is geared toward helping couples devise practical solutions for their problems focused on meeting each other’s needs. The primary assumption of Solution-Focused Couples Counseling is that relationships succeed or fail to the extent that couples meet each other’s needs and place their partner’s need on par with their own needs.

Solution-Focused Couples Counseling is a type of psychotherapy that is active, goal-driven, and focused on the here-and-now.  The central question posed by a mental health professional who practices this type of psychotherapy is “What would you be doing differently if you were doing a better job of meeting this particular need of your partner?”

There are a variety of exercises employed in the practice of Solution-Focused Couples Counseling.  One type of exercise has the couple come up with a list of what they perceive one another’s needs are. This allows for honest communication about needs and a chance to dispel misunderstandings.  Another exercise allows the couple to define specifically, in behavioral terms, what they can do to meet each other’s needs. Over the course of therapy, the couple reports back to the mental health professional how they are doing with trying out new sets of behaviors.  The emphasis is on having the couple offer each other positive feedback to try to build in more goodwill, encouragement, and engender optimism that the relationship can succeed.

Understanding OCD Diagnosis and Treatment

Posted on by Dr Mark Parisi

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, or OCD, as it is commonly called, is a type of Anxiety Disorder and refers to a pattern of intrusive, repetitive thoughts that cause an individual to perform acts in order to prevent something terrible from happening. The acts become ritualistic and can overtake an individual’s life.

There are four characteristics of obsessions and two characteristics of compulsions used to diagnose OCD:

Obsessions include:

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  • The person experiences recurrent and persistent and intrusive thoughts or impulses that cause distress or anxiety.
  • The impulses or thoughts are not about real life problems.
  • The person tries to ignore and suppress the impulse.
  • The person recognizes that the obsession is not based in reality.

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Compulsions include:

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  • Repetitive behavior or mental acts the person feels must performed in compliance with rigid rules.
  • The behavior is aimed at preventing or reducing the effects of a dreaded event or situation, even though the acts are not connected to the issue.

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There are any numbers of examples of these controlling ritualistic behaviors. For example:
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  • A person who is obsessed with germs may feel the need to wash their hands again and again. There may be a specific number of times to wash or to rinse their hands or a specific way to apply the soap.
  • People can be obsessed with superstitions, such as avoiding stepping on the cracks in the cement.
  • A person who is obsessed with the thought that each time they enter a room they must sit down, or have to count the seams in the wallpaper, or even turn in circles a specific number of times before they can exit the room.

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There are several different forms of treatment recommended to treat OCD. Perhaps the most studied and effective form of treatment is known as Exposure Training with Response Prevention, or ERP, as it is called. Here, the individual is gradually exposed to anxiety-provoking situations and is prevented from engaging in the compulsive behavior. For example, the individual might be encouraged to touch a “dirty” doorknob, but then prevented from washing his / her hands. ERP gradually breaks down the link between obsessions and compulsions and weakens the grip of OCD.  Medication can also prove effective in lessening the symptoms of OCD.  One medication that has received particular attention is the anti-depressant medication, Luvox, which has shown promise in lessening the constellation of symptoms attributed to OCD.

Overcoming Relationship Problems

Posted on by Dr Mark Parisi

Problems can strike at relationships any time. Whether the couple is celebrating many years together or just getting to know one another, there is no immunity to such issues.  How can you avoid having these problems strike your relationships? There are several things to keep in mind during any kind of relationship problem; a few of them are listed below.  Although each relationship is unique, these tips are universal.

  1. Communicate – sometimes when couples are experiencing problems related to their feelings for each other, they retreat into themselves rather than discussing their thoughts, feelings, concerns, and emotions. Unfortunately, this may make the problem worse.  By communicating with the one you love, you may find that the problems are resolved more easily than you had anticipated. You may find that the issues you thought were a major division between you and your partner was simply a misunderstanding that had gotten blown out of proportion.
  2. The Blame Game – relationship problems often turn into a never-ending round of the blame game in which each of you blame the other.  It is important to resist this game; it does not help solve your problems and often deepens the chasm between you.  Communicate, as emphasized above, rather than playing this game.
  3. Airing Dirty Laundry – for many couples, relationship problems lead to talking to family members and friends about intensely personal, relationship issues. This can be a huge mistake.  It is important to remember that this does not help solve your problems – and your gripes may make their way back to your partner and cause tremendous conflict and resentment.

Although you, like everyone else in the world, are susceptible to relationship problems, you can overcome them. (See here for more tips on how to heal your relationship.)

Just remember to communicate, avoid playing the blame game, and resist the temptation to air your dirty laundry in a way that may intensify conflict between you and your partner.

If you employ these simple tips – as well as heeding any other good relationship advice you may have heard from people you trust – you should find that your relationship problems are resolved.  Others may crop up in the future, but you will have the tools to handle them.

How Do I Select the Right Psychotherapist?

Posted on by Dr Mark Parisi

The process of selecting a psychotherapist is very important.  A psychotherapist is someone who needs to be trusted, and the client must feel comfortable establishing a relationship with them. While selecting a psychotherapist is a very personal and individual process, there are several helpful guidelines that you can follow.

When selecting a psychotherapist, make sure to consider the type of license, qualifications, and specialities of that person.

While there are a specific set of criteria for licensing, some psychotherapists will choose to specialize in a particular area, such as marriage and family counseling or children and adolescents, and may be able to help provide you with alternative ideas that a general psychotherapist may not be as familiar with. Make sure you understand their approach to psychotherapy and how a typical session will run.

It is perfectly fine to interview several different psychotherapists. It is important to establish trust and a comfort level with your psychotherapist, so if you decide that this is not possible, it is best to look for a new psychotherapist, as both you and the psychotherapist will be wasting time, energy, and money. When interviewing a psychotherapist, it is important to know if communication will be easy or forced, and if you think that you will be able to build the foundation for a successful working relationship.

Selecting a psychotherapist can be a difficult, time-consuming task, but it is important to put forth the effort in order to find someone that will be able to provide you with proper, supportive help. While following up on recommendations is a good way to start the process, a face to face interview will be the best way to tell if you will be able to have a successful relationship with the psychotherapist. Do not be afraid to speak you mind, especially if there are certain traits that you are looking for in a psychotherapist. Finding what you want and need is the foundation for a successful, mutually beneficial relationship.

What is a Psychologist?

Posted on by Dr Mark Parisi

A psychologist is a trained professional who studies the physical, cognitive, emotional and social aspects of behavior in order to provide mental healthcare to individuals. Most psychologists will work in clinics, schools, private practices and even hospitals. There are several different ways of getting sick; psychologists help break through emotional illnesses so people can reclaim their lives.

There are several different types of psychologists. It’s important to understand the difference between psychologists to determine what is the right fit for you.

Clinical psychologists are the most common. They usually work in private practices or clinics and help patients overcome illnesses both physical and emotional. This could include dealing with pain such as strokes, spinal cord injury, or dealing with a personal crisis such as death, divorce or abuse. Clinical psychologists are specially trained in diagnosing and treating mental illness. Clinical psychologists often have expertise in conducting psychological testing to evaluate school, job, or emotional problems.

Developmental psychologists are experts with child and adult development and how this process affects emotional well-being.

Counseling psychologists have expertise in psychotherapy and often work in private practice or clinics the same as clinical psychologists. Counseling psychologists are often found in academic or job placement settings where they function as guidance counselors.

There are also psychologists who specialize in workplace settings, who are classified as industrial organizational (or, I/O) psychologists. They improve work life including worker relations and productivity. They can also be hired as consultants to help improve the general structure of a company by conducting screenings, interviews and training sessions.

School psychologists are specially trained to provide evaluation and treatment as it pertains to the school settings. School psychologists are typically employed by school districts where their work is in high demand. They are experts in diagnosing and establishing academic plans of accommodation (known as “504 Plans”) for remediating learning disability.

Neuropsychologists work directly with the brain-behavior relationship. They study awareness, judgment, reasoning, learning and memory with extensive training in the brain function and spinal cord function.

It is important to understand that, in nearly all states, the title, “Psychologist,” is protected by state licensure laws. In order to be called a “Psychologist” a mental health professional must possess appropriate education, training, post-degree supervised experience, and have passed relevant state board examinations.

Childhood Attachment and Bonding

Posted on by Dr Mark Parisi

During the first year of life, children form strong bonds with their parents and caregivers. You might not think that children are aware of much during that first year, but in reality they are forming very important bonds with people around them. These bonds will lead to an attachment style being adopted by the child; and, each child’s individual attachment style will depend on the types of interaction he or she has with his or her caregivers.

There are four main types of Childhood attachment styles: secure attachment, anxious-resistant insecure attachment, anxious avoidant insecure attachment, and disorganized attachment.

Children who are happy and healthy will typically display secure attachment.  These children understand that their parents will return to them, and they probably don’t cry or fuss a lot when their parents are separated from them, as they are secure in the knowledge that they will come back. To help keep your child secure, snuggle with them, be calm around them, and be consistent with your bonding.  Insecure children consist of those with anxious avoidant, anxious-resistant and disorganized insecure attachment. These children are often frightened, crying when their parents leave their side, but also seeming wholly unconcerned when their parents return. These children are anxious, unsure of what will happen next, so they waffle between wanting parental attention and shunning it.

Children with insecure attachment styles have often witnessed or endured abuse, inconsistent bonding, or live in an environment that is filled with stress.  Avoid this scenario by providing your child with a calm environment, plenty of love, and a lot of positive interaction. Children who are secure in their attachments are often happier and healthier throughout life, forming stronger, more psychologically-balanced relationships.

If you suspect that your child is not bonding properly, or you would like to form better bonds with your child, please seek the advice of a licensed therapist.